Alice Brown’s Lessons in the Curious Art of Dating
  Audrey Cracknells’ Top 10 ‘Do’s & Don’ts’ of Dating (for those serious about finding a spouse).

alice brown's lessons in the curious art of dating

Whilst browsing our selection of clients to choose a potential dinner date DO forget all those ridiculous hang ups about height, weight and bald spots. A husband doesn’t need to a pin-up. If you want a pin up, buy a calendar.

alice brown's lessons in the curious art of dating

And whilst we’re at it, DON’T reject accountants. Accountancy is a perfectly acceptable profession. An accountant spouse will be a solvent spouse, and not to be sniffed at.

alice brown's lessons in the curious art of dating

When deciding on an outfit to wear to your dinner date, DO groom, groom, groom! DO NOT wear trousers, and DEFINITELY DO NOT wear jeans. I always think at times like these it’s best to take royal inspiration. Camilla may not be the flashiest of dressers, but she’s tasteful and occasion-appropriate. Skirts should be knee-length and décolletage covered – you’re looking for a husband, not pneumonia. And DON’T forget tights. A simple pair of American tan will take you a long way in life.

alice brown's lessons in the curious art of dating

Upon arrival at the dinner date, DO select your food carefully. DON’T opt for salad – it gets stuck in one’s teeth. And DEFINITELY DON’T go for steak – such an aggressive dish for a lady. The savvy dater sticks to a simple piece of fish. I always find a sprat works best.

alice brown's lessons in the curious art of dating

DON’T drink alcohol on your date. No man wants a drunk. Limit yourself to one aperitif, and then water. Always end with a coffee (so much more sophisticated than tea) and NEVER eat the little chocolate that comes on the side (it will remind him of pigs and truffles).

alice brown's lessons in the curious art of dating

DO practice listening. If the gentleman wants to tell you about his day at work, for heaven’s sake, shut up and listen! No man wants a blow-by-blow account of your recent shopping excursion. Keep your wittering for your girlfriends.

alice brown's lessons in the curious art of dating

And DO smile, smile, smile! Nobody likes a grump

alice brown's lessons in the curious art of dating

At the end of the night, DON’T ever ‘go dutch’. Let the man be the man, and in control of the financials. Besides, offers of continental behavior could be misinterpreted. It’s much safer to stay unambiguously British, then everyone knows where they stand.

alice brown's lessons in the curious art of dating

Upon leaving the restaurant, DO permit the gentleman to kiss you on the hand, or walk you to your car. DO NOT pass him your phone number. You must be keen, but not too enthusiastic. It will help prepare his expectations for marriage.

alice brown's lessons in the curious art of dating

And finally, in the event of your date not wishing to select you again, DO remember that a regular hair set works wonders for the confidence. After all, if one doesn’t love oneself, one can hardly be expected to be loved back.